I must admit, I am a sports nut! I love it 24/7 if I could. But most of you that know me this is no shock at all.

Anyways I am into fantasy leagues as well. I must say that I suck at Fantasy baseball though. I have a ton of all-stars on my 3 teams and I am in last place in two of them and 8 out of 10 in the other one. I swear people will not trade or even consider trading. IT drives me nuts!!!!!! Or the propose a trade to me (like J.D. Drew for Vlad Guerrero) and they think that because I am a girl I am going to take that shit! I know players and I watch the game, I am not that fucking stupid!

See I don't have this much trouble with Fantasy Football. I rock at that! I am always at the top competing.

My knowledge of sports is tremendous, so how am I not able to do well in baseball or hockey, but I rock in football and basketball. Who knows?

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Jen Kober is funny as hell!

I don't know how to do videos on here, so if this doesn't work, here it is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLrsMw7A0Zk

here is another one for you!

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I am soo thankful that I have healthy self-esteem. I try not to let other people’s opinions bring me down, but , do I get sick of it sometimes.

You can be anything you want to be in this society except fat. Especially if you are a woman. You would think it was a crime the way our society treats us. Hatred of the overweight is the last accepted form of prejudice in this country it seems, and again, I’m getting sick of it....

When people are rude to me because of my weight, I have a lot of questions start bouncing around in my head... For instance...

Why does it bother you so damn much?? Seriously!! Am I stealing food from you or your family? Am I making you pick up the tab when I go out? Do you have to cook for me?? No?? Then don’t fucking worry about it!!

Why do you feel you need to comment on it? What’s that, asshole? I’m fat?? What the...? *hmmmm.... Are you sure??? Wow, thanks for letting me know!... Now I can take the steps necessary to make you more comfortable with my grotesque appearance... If only someone had told me sooner!

Why do you assume I’m lazy? This one has always baffled me. The majority of lazy fucks I’ve encountered in my 28 years haven’t been fat at all. Seriously, think of every pretty boy or skank ass girl you’ve ever worked with who didn’t do their share at all. Trust me, on this one, laziness comes in all sizes. I’ve been employed most of the last 10 years and believe me, I’m a hell of a hard worker.

Why do you assume I do nothing but eat all day and night? I do have a life. I did have a good job, where I made just as much money (and in many cases, more than!!) the skinny people. I have friends, and a social life and lots of people who are happy to be in my life. Why do you assume I never exercise? IN my own apartment building I walk on the treadmill and stair climber at least 2-3 times a week, so I hate to disappoint you there, too. And just so you know, it’s been proven that fat people who exercise are healthier than skinny people who don’t.

Why are you so fucking offended by my dress size?? Seriously, are you retarded? Hate me because you met me and think I’m a bitch, but honestly... get a fucking grip. If you hated me because I was black or Jewish, there’d be an uproar. No difference. I am who I am.

Why should I have to change for you? Go fuck yourself, you ignorant twits.

You know, every fat person has a story to tell as to why they are fat. Just like every alcoholic has a story, every battered woman, every gang member.... People express their emotions in different ways. Some revert to behaviors that others don’t agree with. I have had a lot of struggles in my life, but why does this concern you? At one time, I lost over a seventy pounds and I thought that would make me happy, but you know what? I was just a smaller version of my sad self. Enough said.

And ever since my baby died, I have come to realize that life is so short and fragile. I had to deal with drug abuse and came dangerously close to killing myself after that. But I struggled to make it through and regain my self-worth. And I’m going to live for myself from now on, not for society. If I want a Brownie, I’m eating it. You don’t approve, then so fucking what? I don’t approve of close-minded idiots, yet here we are...

I’m sorry the American "ideal" woman is one who looks like an anorexic little boy. Sorry, but I’m not playing into that. Love me or hate me, but for the love of God, just shut the fuck up and let me live my life...

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My good news first. I went to ITT Tech and did a presentation so that I can be an instructor there. It went really well. After my presentation they offered me constructive criticism (like talking louder) and also showed me around the school. I think they might actually hire me. But, not for another 9 weeks or so because that is when the new term will start.

The bad -
I got denied unemployment. They basically said that I didn't do enough to help my job performance and that my employer gave me ample warning to correct it. Therefore I am the reason why I got fired and unemployment will not be paid to me. This is bullshit, I was told once in the almost year and half I was there that my performance was not up to par, and that was back in November. I was working on, but obviously my new project manager thought I sucked and they fired me. A-Holes! Also I found out that my ex-employer is completely ruining my reputation in my field. This is making it very difficult to get anyone to hire me in my field. I may have to move out of Denver to get away from it.

Because I am not going to get unemployment, I am going to lose my apartment. I will now be forced to move me and my kitties in my Grandma's house. My aunt, my uncle, my grandma and I (plus the kitties) will be living there. I swear that house will be hell. AND I won't have money to even get away from there. So basically since I found out late this afternoon I have been crying and wondering what the hell I am going to do. I will have to be out of my apartment on the last day of April, so I guess I could pack.

my day sucked but I still have hope that something good has to happen to me. I have been dealt this shitty hand for 8 weeks now, something good has to come soon. Or so I hope. I guess I am lucky that I have somewhere to go, but I almost would rather live in my car.

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Well here I am at eight weeks unemployed. I will hit that mark on this Wednesday (tomorrow)

In the previous post about my job situation I mentioned I was going insane....you have no idea. I am so far past that.

I don't have a boyfriend or a kid to distract me. I have all these walls of my apartment....and that is it. Oh and my kitties are here too.

I am about to lose my apartment. I am actually surprised I have kept it this long. I have had the money to pay the rent the past two months....this coming month, I am going to have to start borrowing from the parents. I filed for unemployment 6 weeks ago and as of Monday, March 24th they had not made a decision. Said it should be by the end of the week. I am lucky though, if I get it I can stay in my apartment. If not, then I have to hit up my aunt for the money to get out of my lease (about $1500) plus my rent for April. Then to make matter worse I have to move back in with my Grandma who is also housing my aunt and soon will be housing my uncle. It is a 3 bedroom house that is about 1100 sq feet. 4 people living there is going to be insane. I am again going to be confined to a room. But at least I will have a place to go.

So does anyone know how to get employers attention???? I have found that most places will not accept you going to their office in person and handing them your resume and application. It is all done online. Which throughly pisses me off. I have been on monster, careerbuilder, hotjobs and many others. I have heard NOTHING! I even have a recruiting company that is supposed to be helping me out. I haven't heard from them since I signed up with them. no jobs leads at all through them. What sucks about that is....On monster most of the jobs in my field go through this recruiting company. You can only talk to your assigned agent and no one else. What if your agent isn't doing their job?? In this case I can't so anything. Also I have applied outside my field. Like to customer service jobs. I was actually told by two companies that they wouldn't hire me because I was over qualified! I was like WTF??? if I applied for the job obviously I don't think it is beneath me to do it.

I re-did my resumes after consulting a professional as well as I redid my cover letters. So far nothing. I actually got more of a response from my other resumes. So much for the professionals.

Well if I find out that I don't get unemployment, I am going to go work at Circle K at night. Don't really have a choice in the matter. I need money. Also, my best friends company is hiring.

I am soooo bored out of my mind! SO I want to apologize lazypuppy! You have put up with me, especially this past month, and me thinking that you didn't care. I was so wrong! Thanks for just letting me vent and for the fact that even when you are exhausted you go out with me (like Monday...I know you would have rather slept and relaxed at home)

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So I found this really cool website through a message board that I chat on. You can visit my city and then build your own. The more people that visit your city the bigger the population gets.

I don't know to embed a website on here...but I will give it a try. here is the address

http://pyrolicious.myminicity.com

Enjoy!

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Well it has been a while since I have posted on here. I was working all day everyday until the 29 of January. That is the day I officially lost my job. And as much as it sucks I am relieved that I don't work for that company anymore.

But that leave me with no job and wondering how the hell I am going to pay my bills! It is more frustrating than anything. I apply to countless jobs online and I never hear anything. NOTHING AT ALL! The last time I heard from someone was over a week ago. I feel useless doing this and I am bored out of my mind. I am also to the point where I am getting on the nerves of my loved ones. I am down, borderline depressed and becoming broke quickly.

Seriously I have no clue if I am sane anymore...I am soooo bored, I just want to work. Problem is that I am in such a specialized field (Interior Design) that it is making me struggle more. And I can't take less money than I was making cause I need that much to stay afloat.

I am at such a loss. I hate this point.

Other than looking for a job and being frustrated, I am actually doing quite alright. I am sleeping better than I ever have and I am actually a little relaxed which is very odd.

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I heard this great song for the first time today. And it is so TRUE!!!

Love Song For No One Lyrics
John Mayer

Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Get here

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
Oh no way

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I'm so tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I'm so tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here oh yeah

You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me

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